The Dark Tower review

I had originally written seven sprawling, epic blog posts filled with intriguing detail, mystery, suspense, and imaginative, engaging story arcs relating my experience with this movie but I decided to condense them a tiny little bit.

Imagine a Lord of the Rings movie in which they never get anywhere near Mount Doom but instead, two hours in, Aragorn shoots Saruman in the face and then they all go home.

 Roll credits.