God Hires a Birdman

God exists, and he once hired a birdman.

A short time after creating the heavens and the Earth, God summoned a man named Harold to the gates of heaven. Harold was a birdman. He wore overalls and glasses, and he had a halo of white hair around his head. He was a short, kindly old man.

God met Harold at the gates of heaven.

“Good morning,” God said. It was always morning back then for night was not yet a concept.

“Good morning,” said Harold.

God took Harold by the hand and led him down a golden path among the clouds. As they walked, He explained to Harold the situation and why he needed a birdman. Something new, something different, had been found in a corner of heaven.

“But God,” said Harold. “Are you not Creator of all there is? How can anything be new to you?”

God nodded. “Does the architect place every atom? Does he predict whether a brick will decay just so?”

“An architect?”

Architects did not exist yet but god said, “I give you Knowledge.” And so Harold knew.

When they came to the new thing that had been found. Harold saw that in a bed of clouds there lied an object that was the purest white. It was smooth and it shone with a golden light. It was the most beautiful thing Harold had ever seen. It was an egg.

“This is why I called a birdman,” God said.

Harold approached the egg carefully. He examined its surface and walked all around trying to determine its species. He thought for a long time while God waited by patiently. Harold was the most knowledgeable birdman in all Creation.

“God,” Harold said finally. “This really is something new.”

God nodded sagely.

“It looks like it’s almost ready,” Harold said. “All it needs is a little bit of encouragement.”

And so Harold became the guardian of the egg. He cradled it in his arms and kept it warm for seven days and seven nights, at times leaning in closely to listen to the music that came from within the egg. And each day was like a thousand years but Harold’s will did not waiver, and his love for the egg only grew. The egg became the birdman’s ultimate purpose. It was to him precious like his own child. He saw in the egg beauty and love and passion. There was hope in the egg, something great and grand that would soon leave the confines of its shell and change the universe.

For seven days like seven thousand years he cried long tears of happiness and cradled the egg in his old arms.

Then one day, when the egg was ready, it cracked. Harold stepped back and saw God come about and they stood holding hands and watching as a blinding light like nothing the universe had ever witnessed shone forth. The shell split into two parts and inside was revealed a baby, not a bird, but a beautiful tiny creature with shining white wings.

Harold fell to his knees and wept. He took the baby in his arms and held him to his chest, sobbing with joy and love.

God smiled.

“Because you have brought light into this universe like none other,” God said, “I shall call you ‘Lucifer.’”